Thankful

Contentment is a rare feeling for me, but I find that if I focus on being thankful contentment usually follows. We are two to three weeks out with getting our proctor kids, and I am incredibly thankful for the support we've already received from our friends and family. This whole thing would be much more daunting if we were trying to do it alone.

Another thing I am thankful for is artists who are able to express truth and meaning when I am not. Change is hard, and art is a comfort to me. Last night I read "For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide/When the Rainbow is Enuf". I loved this book, and Ntozake Shange's ability to put words to complex experiences creates a connection with the reader on an intuitive, emotional, and very real level.

Here's one of the poems, "One Thing I Don't Need/Sorry":

one thing i don’t need
is any more apologies
i got sorry greetin me at my front door
you can keep yrs
i don’t know what to do wit em
they dont open doors
or bring the sun back
they dont make me happy
or get a mornin paper
didnt nobody stop usin my tears to wash cars
cuz a sorry

i am simply tired
of collectin
i didnt know
i was so important toyou
i’m gonna haveta throw some away
i cant get to the clothes in my closet
for alla the sorries
i’m gonna tack a sign to my door
leave a message by the phone
‘if you called
to say yr sorry
call somebody
else
i dont use em anymore’
i let sorry/ didnt meanta/ & how could i know about that
take a walk down a dark & musty street in brooklyn
i’m gonna do exactly what i want to
& i wont be sorry for none of it
letta sorry soothe yr soul/ i’m gonna soothe mine

you were always inconsistent
doin somethin & then bein sorry
beatin my heart to death
talkin bout you sorry
well
i will not call
i’m not goin to be nice
i will raise my voice
& scream & holler
& break things & race the engine
& tell all yr secrets bout yrself to yr face
& i will list in detail everyone of my wonderful lovers
& their ways
i will play oliver lake
loud
& i wont be sorry for none of it

i loved you on purpose
i was open on purpose
i still crave vulnerability & close talk
& i’m not even sorry bout you bein sorry
you can carry all the guilt & grime ya wanna
just dont give it to me
i cant use another sorry
next time
you should admit
you’re mean/ low-down/ triflin/ & no count straight out
steada bein sorry alla the time
enjoy bein yrself

Book Worm Wednesday

Today is the first installation of... Book Worm Wednesday!

This summer I made a point to read as many books as I could, and I found the whole experience to be very rewarding; like crossing things off a list combined with going on adventures. What could be better? This exercise also reminded me of the Book-It days! Does anyone else remember getting free pizza as a reward for reading?

If forced, I would choose Love in the Time of Cholera as my favorite read this summer. It is lyrical, cyclical, beautiful, and haunting. More than a love story, Gabriel Garcia Marquez wrote a book that is equally relatable and mystical. Marquez is a master of inviting the reader into worlds that are so mundane and so transcendent that it is easy (and delightful) to get lost in them. Love in the Time of Cholera follows a couple characters closely and many more not-so-closely although at times it is difficult to tell who are the main characters- he is such a good story teller that at the end of the book I felt each of his characters were absolutely necessary. In this way Marquez delicately unfolds a rich, textured story of love and how people learn to connect and live with each other.

A small excerpt that may give you an idea of the writing style:

"Together they had overcome the daily incomprehension, the instantaneous hatred, the reciprocal nastiness, and fabulous flashes of glory in the conjugal conspiracy. It was the time when they both loved each other best, without hurry or excess, when both were most conscious of and grateful for their incredible victories over adversity. Life would still present them with other mortal trials, of course, but that no longer mattered: they were on the other shore."

The days are getting shorter, dark is coming earlier, and it's a great season to pick up a book!